Buckle up, dear reader, because today we’re taking a deep dive into the GMC Hummer EV—an unapologetically over-the-top, unapologetically American, electric SUV-slash-pickup-slash-conversation starter. It’s not just a car; it’s a declaration. A 4400 kg declaration that whispers, “Who needs subtlety when you’ve got torque?”
First Impressions: Electric Brontosaurus
The GMC Hummer EV is massive. It doesn’t just enter a parking lot; it occupies it. With dimensions that could rival a small apartment (5.2 meters long, 2.2 meters wide, and 2 meters tall), the Hummer EV dares you to consider spatial limitations trivial. It’s like GMC said, “Let’s make something too big for Europe and too practical for Mars.”
The design screams “military chic,” with aggressive lines, a light bar that doubles as a charging status indicator, and skid plates to remind everyone that this electric behemoth is ready to go off-road—even if it’s just to your nearest Starbucks.
Under the Hood (Or, Technically, in the Floor)
The Hummer EV houses a General Motors Ultium 20-module battery pack that delivers a mind-bending 170 kWh capacity. With three motors (one up front, two at the back), this monster churns out 830 horsepower and an almost offensive 15,591 Nm of torque. To put that torque figure in perspective, it could theoretically pull Jupiter out of orbit—though GMC settled for letting it tow 3,400 kg instead.
Performance Specs:
- 0-100 kmph: 3.6 seconds (Thanks to the “Watts to Freedom” mode—yes, that’s its actual name)
- Top Speed: 170 kmph (limited because, you know, physics)
- Range: 505 km (assuming you don’t drive like you’re reenacting a “Fast & Furious” scene)
The Drive Modes: Crabwalking and Beyond
The Hummer EV is not just about going forward (or backward). It’s also about moving diagonally. Thanks to the innovative Crabwalk feature, the four-wheel steering system allows the vehicle to slither sideways like a land crab. Useful for tight trails or making everyone in the parking lot stare in disbelief.
Other drive modes include:
- Off-Road – For when you need to conquer terrain that even mountain goats would avoid.
- Terrain – Essentially “Off-Road+.”
- Tow/Haul – Because why not attach a trailer to an electric brick?
- Normal – For those rare days when you just want to blend in (spoiler: you won’t).
- My Mode – Customize it to suit your whims and possibly your ego.
Interior: Luxury Meets Lunacy
Inside, it’s a cocktail of cutting-edge tech and creature comforts:
- A 13.4-inch infotainment screen with Google built-in, wireless Apple CarPlay, Android Auto, and more connectivity than your smartphone.
- 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster that displays everything from speed to, presumably, the trajectory of your dreams.
- Infinity Roof with removable Sky Panels (available in opaque or transparent). Want to feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your scalp? Done.
- Bose 14-speaker system that can probably be heard in the next county.
- Heated and ventilated 12-way adjustable seats for front passengers (because comfort shouldn’t be optional when you’re causing earthquakes with your torque).
For the environmentally conscious giant, the EV boasts an eTrunk (front trunk) with 320 liters of storage and a whopping 1016 liters of boot space in the rear.
Safety: A Fortress on Wheels
Given its mass and potential to dominate lesser vehicles, the Hummer EV comes packed with safety features:
- Six airbags, Super Cruise hands-free driving, and every electronic acronym you can think of: ABS, ESC, TCS, and more.
- Underbody cameras with washers for off-road adventurers who love mud but hate dirty lenses.
- Rear Pedestrian Alert—essential, because spotting someone behind this mammoth is like finding a needle in a haystack.
Charging: Faster Than You’d Think
The Hummer EV supports up to 350 kW DC fast charging, giving you 80% juice in just 27 minutes. For homebodies, it’s 14 hours on an 11 kW charger or seven hours on a 22 kW unit. So yes, you can binge-watch an entire Netflix series while your beast gets ready for the road.
Who Is This For?
The Hummer EV is for people who:
- Think Teslas are too mainstream.
- Want to combine eco-consciousness with the ability to tow a small village.
- Believe that subtlety is overrated.
It’s not practical, it’s not understated, and it’s certainly not for everyone. But that’s the point. The GMC Hummer EV is an unapologetic statement: big, bold, and electric. It’s America in automotive form—louder, larger, and ready to crush (both metaphorically and literally).
Verdict
Is the GMC Hummer EV overkill? Absolutely. But isn’t that why we love it?
